Having a newborn is an extraordinary experience and new moms love for their baby is truly endless.
Even though new parents are going through this amazing thing together, it’s definitely true that moms have a different experience than dads do. There are so many aspects of new motherhood that their husbands or partners honestly might never know about. Women experience many strange (and even gross) things in the first few months after having a baby, and they know that this is all worth it because of their sweet little one, but it’s still a lot to deal with. It can be tough to talk to their partner. Sure, they know that their partners love them and want to support them, but there are a lot of awkward things that it would be a lot easier to keep private. (Thankfully, new moms can bond with other new moms over all of the things on this list.)
If a new mom gets hemorrhoids, this is definitely an awkward truth that she would prefer to keep from her partner. Urmc.rochester.edu explains that this is “a painful swelling of a vein” and that this happens to a lot of new moms. It’s not pleasant at all and there are a lot of things that women can do to make this better, including finding creams, a comfortable pillow to sit down, and drinking more water and eating more fiber.
It’s easy to see that new moms would prefer to keep this just to themselves. After all, they’re in the newborn phase and would rather focus on their sweet little one and not something like this.
19. HOW MUCH BREASTFEEDING HURTS
Breastfeeding is definitely more difficult than it might seem, and many new mothers find that it really hurts.
As Kids Health explains, “If your baby consistently latches on wrong, sucking on your nipple without getting much of your areola in the mouth, you’ll probably feel discomfort throughout each feeding. Some moms say it’s painful or feels like a pinch as their babies nurse.” The website recommends that moms talk to their doctor when this happens.
Talk about an awkward conversation to have with your partner. New moms might be more comfortable talking to a doctor (or another expert) about this instead of letting their partner know what’s going on.
18. WANTING TO USE FORMULA
Unfortunately, not every new mom who wants to breastfeed is able to. And there are also new moms who decide that they want to give their baby formula. Maybe the breastfeeding experience is tougher than they expected. This is a personal choice that a new mom has to figure out herself.
When she decides to give her baby formula, a new mother might feel a bit awkward talking to her partner about this. This is a very tricky subject and people have so many opinions on it. She might be concerned that her partner might wonder if it’s a good idea, even if she feels that it’s the best thing for herself and her baby.
One common thing that many women experience after giving birth is constipation. Is this the most pleasant subject around? Definitely not. Is it a truth about being a new mom? Yes, for sure. It’s also a truth that new moms wouldn’t want to share with the father of their baby. It would feel like a really awkward conversation to have.
Urmc.rochester.edu has some good advice for new moms in this situation: “Call your health care provider if you do not have a bowel movement by the third or fourth day after having your baby.”
It would honestly be less awkward to tell a doctor about this than your husband or partner, that’s for sure.
16. FEELING LIKE SHE COULDN’T ACHIEVE HER BIRTH PLAN
Every woman approaches birth differently. Some want to have a plan written up beforehand and they want everything to go according to that plan. Others want to go with the flow and they’re cool with knowing that things won’t be perfect.
When a woman feels like she couldn’t achieve her birth plan, it doesn’t feel very good, and it can make the experience of having a newborn even more emotional and difficult. She will be dealing with a lot of thoughts and feelings about this, and she might feel awkward talking to her partner about it. This is totally understandable, and hopefully she can find another mom or a relative whom she can share these feelings with.
15. GETTING SUPER SWEATY
You can feel pretty insecure if you sweat more than other people that you know seem to. Whether you’re in a workout class or at home, you wonder why it feels like your deodorant just isn’t working, and it’s a bit embarrassing.
Did you know that new moms can get super sweaty? Motherly calls this “the deluge of sweat that comes from postpartum hormones.” Yup, this is because of hormones, too, just like some of the other things on this list. It’s another awkward thing about having a baby that you might want to keep from your partner, that’s for sure.
14. WEARING MESH UNDERWEAR THAT YOU GET RID OF
Babble mentions the mesh underwear that new moms use that can be easily gotten rid of. All new moms know about this particular kind of underwear and it can be really practical. As a new mom wrote for the website, “Don’t knock ’em ’til you try ’em. They’re totally [unattractive], but so much more comfortable … not to mention DISPOSABLE.”
Do new moms want to talk to the father of their baby about this underwear? Probably not. They honestly might not even want these dads to look at the underwear. It just feels like an awkward truth about new motherhood that is best kept under wraps. It’s okay if they don’t know about this, right?!
13. INCREASED BODY ODOR
Some people sweat more than others and are super self-conscious about it, and others don’t have this issue at all. Some new moms will definitely experience increased body odor, and it’s one of the least fun things about the postpartum period, that’s for sure.
As one mom wrote for Babble, “I never really sweat much before I had a baby and I never had to wear deodorant. Post baby? I totally stunk! Thanks hormones.”
Many new moms would prefer to keep this awkward truth from their partner. It would be such an unpleasant conversation to have. So much better to focus on their adorable newborn, right?
12. LOSING SOME HAIR
Another awkward thing about being a new mother is definitely losing some hair. Many women talk about this… but they would probably rather talk about it with each other, not with their partners.
If this happens to you, you might feel self-conscious and insecure about this, and you don’t want to draw any attention to it by bringing it up with your significant other. As Motherly says, “chances are high your mane will be rather patchy for the foreseeable future.”
You can take comfort in the fact that losing some hair is something that a lot of women deal with during this stage of their lives.
11. PEEING PROBLEMS
When you have a baby and notice that peeing is a lot weirder than usual, you realize that you took this function for granted before. And you also realize that you would rather talk about literally anything else with your partner (like how cute your baby looks in their avocado swaddle blanket, for example).
Romper says, “Sneezing, cough, laughing, and even a jumping jack can cause you to accidentally pee your pants after you’ve given birth. Urinary problems such as incontinence are common postpartum.” While it’s good to hear that this is something that many women go through, it’s still awkward. Self also notes that peeing could hurt.
10. FEELING SUPER SORE AFTER GIVING BIRTH
Before you become a mom, you totally expect some recovery to be necessary once you’ve given birth. But you might not think too much about how sore you’re actually going to be after giving birth.
New moms might not want to talk to their partners about this particular postpartum experience. It’s definitely much more fun and pleasant to focus on how happy you both are to have started your family.
According to March of Dimes, there are some things that will help with this situation. The publication says to “sit on a pillow or a donut-shaped cushion” and “soak in a warm bath.”
9. DISCHARGE AFTER GIVING BIRTH
Women also get something called “lochia” after having a baby, according to Medical News Today. It’s not actually the same as a period although it might feel like it. It’s a lot more intense, though, so new moms will know that it feels different.
As WebMD explains, “The flow will eventually lighten, as will its color — gradually turning pink, then white or yellow before stopping altogether. The bright red discharge may return at times, such as after breast-feeding or too-vigorous exercise, but its volume generally slows considerably in about 10 to 14 days.”
Is this something that new moms want to talk to their partners about over breakfast, dinner, or when going to bed at night? Probably not.
8. CRAZY HEAVY POSTPARTUM FLOW
Many new moms also experience a crazy heavy postpartum flow. According to Medical News Today, a woman’s period can be different after she has a baby because of hormones.
As VeryWell Family explains, “Some mothers find that their periods haven’t really changed, while others find them more or less painful or heavy. Premenstrual syndrome symptoms can also change for the better or worse after bearing children.”
New moms would also want to hide this awkward truth from dads. After all, a lot of women don’t even talk to their partners about their periods at all.
7. FEELING KIND OF MOODY
It’s safe to say that most women feel pretty emotional after having a baby. You feel a lot of feelings and it’s such a massive change.
According to What to Expect, new moms will also feel moody: “The day your baby arrives will be among the happiest of your life, but it’s also normal to experience emotional highs and lows in the first days or weeks after giving birth. There’s a lot going on to trigger mood swings, including hormonal changes, physical discomfort, and getting used to your newborn’s demands.”
This is definitely an awkward truth about being a new mom that she would prefer to hide from the father of her baby. In this case, though, if she feels really bad, she will have to let someone know.
6. FEELING SOME PAIN AND JUST UNCOMFORTABLE DOWN THERE
It’s so wonderful and joyous to have a newborn in the house, but it can also make a new mom realize that even though she’s no longer pregnant, she’s still going through a lot.
Today’s Parent says that a new mom might experience some pain down there and also feel really uncomfortable. The publication says it will “gradually get better over several weeks” and that “rest” is a good idea.
This kind of thing is honestly really awkward to bring up with anyone, let alone your partner, so it makes sense that new moms might want to keep this to themselves.
5. FEET AND HANDS CAN FEEL BIGGER
Do you feel like your hands and feet are bigger now that you’re a mother of a cute newborn? You might feel strange and awkward bringing it up with your partner, and you might wonder if they would tell you that of course this isn’t really happening.
Actually, as it turns out, this is something that really does happen. According to March of Dimes, “Lots of women have swelling in their hands, feet and face during pregnancy. It’s caused by extra fluids in your body. It may take time for the swelling to go away after you have your baby.”
4. NOTICING CHANGES WITH HER TEETH
New moms might be surprised to notice that their teeth are starting to change once they’re had a little one. According to Today’s Parent, “Shifting hormone levels and [circulatory] volume during pregnancy can make you more susceptible to cavities and gum disease after baby, so don’t skip your usual dentist appointment.”
It doesn’t feel that great to tell your partner that you feel like you’re getting a cavity or that your teeth hurt, so this seems logical to keep to yourself… It’s just one of those awkward things about being a new mom. Today’s Parent also says that women who have had babies recently might notice “slightly blurry vision or dry eyes.”
3. STILL FEELING SOMETHING LIKE A LABOR CONTRACTION
Something else that new moms experience is literally feeling like they’re having contractions when they’re had the baby and are at home with their sweet, adorable newborn.
Healthy Mummy says, “Well technically they call them ‘afterpains’, but they sure feel like contractions.”
This is another truth about being a new mom that she wouldn’t necessarily feel comfortable sharing with her partner. It might feel a bit strange and funny to say “Honey, I feel like I’m going into labor again… but I know I’m not…” Thankfully, new moms can talk to other mothers about all of these awkward truths, and they will totally understand.
2. MILK ACTUALLY CAN COME OUT
Another awkward truth of being a new mom is that milk might actually come out. This isn’t something that you would expect to happen, and you probably don’t want to talk to your partner about it because it feels so weird to bring up.
Motherly explains why this happens, which is helpful since it can seem confusing: “And that stuff is going to keep leaking until your milk dries up.”
Like the other aspects of new motherhood on this list, this can be something that you bring up with other mamas, and you can feel like they totally get it and understand you.
1. GETTING CRAMPS WHILE BREASTFEEDING
Breastfeeding is a beautiful experience and also tricky for some. It turns out that new moms can get cramps while breastfeeding, and this isn’t exactly the most pleasant thing to bring up with their partners. It’s another awkward truth that they might want to hide from their baby’s father.
According to Kids Health, “During the first few days to weeks after delivery, you may feel strong, menstrual-like cramps in your uterus when your milk lets down. This is your uterus shrinking back to a smaller size.” At least it’s only for a couple of weeks at the very most, right?!